Criminal Mastermind

My little brother Russell is the funniest kid on the block. Danny and I are staying with my parents in Centerville for a about a week until we move back up to Logan and what can I say, this kid cracks me up. I have considered starting a blog just for all the funny stuff he says. The other day something happened that I have to share.



I was eating breakfast the other day and talking to Russell about helping Danny and I wash our cars when Russell grabs my spare car key (luckily the one without a key chain remote) and ran outside yelling, "I'll get the car ready." I didn't think much of it until I realized that he has had an obsession with learning how to drive lately (he is going to turn 16 in October). My parents have had numberless conversations with him about how boys who have Down Syndrome do not get to drive cars, and for the most part he is fine with that. But in the back of my mind I thought maybe I should go see what he is up to.

I opened the door to see Russell sitting in the drivers seat of my car ready to get moving. I panicked, ran out, and coaxed him out of the car, reminding him that he can't drive, we weren't ready to wash the cars, etc. He got out and I locked my car and went back inside thinking he would just hang out for a while until we were ready. I checked on him a few minutes later and he was still trying to get into my car, running around trying every door multiple times. Then he saw Danny's car and ran over to give it a try. The car was locked but that didn't stop Russell. He noticed that back window was cracked so he slid his arm in, unlocked it, and climbed into the front seat. Luckily he didn't have Danny's keys. After a while, he came in the house, defeated.

We sat down and were talking about how he shouldn't be trying to drive when the light bulb turned on. He pulled the spare out of his pocket and exclaimed, "I know, I'll put the key in the door, turn and get in!" I didn't think he would really be able to pull this off because who uses keys to get into cars anymore? He went outside and about two seconds later my car alarm went off. Russell came running inside as fast as he could with a terrified look on his face, ran to the corner of the living room, chucked the key on the table, and ran into his room to hide. He had been caught and Danny and I were laughing so hard we were crying. He came crawling sheepishly out of his room a few minutes later, but it was not over. Danny and I were prepared to play this moment up...

We told him that the police were on their way and that he was in big trouble for trying to drive without a license and breaking into our cars. His reply was, "I quit driving! I don't want the police to take me to jail!" Then he tried making deals with me so I wouldn't tell my mom. Yeah right.

The day went on and Danny and I didn't think much else of it but Russell every once and a while he would ask us if we could hear the sirens coming yet; he was convinced the police were coming for him. Then we were watching the evening news and Russell seemed unusually interested. He watched very intensely and as the hour was ending he started muttering, "Please, please, please don't talk about me." He literally thought he was going to be on the news.

We finally told him that he police weren't going to come and that he was not in trouble but I think he learned his lesson. Pretty sure he will not be attempting to drive cars anytime soon, although I must admit he does pull a pretty good criminal face.